Closing out 2022 with a new experience to propel me along my own Journey.

Dear Readers,

I apologize that this weekly Waypoint is late – we typically publish on Wednesdays – but my 2022 has decided to close out with an unexpected experience. For the final Waypoint article of the year, I would like to share this experience with you, and I hope that by doing so, it will provide some value.

A quick note – this experience involves hospitalization and the events involved around it, and so if you don’t feel you want to read this – please don’t.

My experience:

A day after the launch of True North experience online, I began to hemorrhage while at home. It was in the evening on December 22, and I was sitting on my sofa working on a few details for one of the courses I am creating when I felt the bleeding start.

I quickly got up and ran to the restroom and what I saw was shocking. Still unclear what was happening and just how bad it was I did what I could, and assuming that maybe I was starting menopause out of the blue (even though I knew this wasn’t likely), I went back to the sofa.

That didn’t last and I spent the next 30 minutes in the bathroom while my brain struggled to come to grips with what I was experiencing. I quickly began to understand the seriousness of my situation and made the decision that a trip to the ER was going to be necessary.

At the very moment that I knew what I needed to do, I received a text from a friend, an intuitive. I shared with her what I was experiencing, and she backed up my decision with her own reading – that I needed to go, and I needed to go NOW.

I immediately took steps to get myself to a local emergency room, which, for those who know me, you understand that this is not a decision I take lightly.

Within an hour and a half after I had begun to bleed, I was being wheeled into the ER. I struggled to describe to the triage nurse just how heavy I was bleeding – they kept wanting me to provide this description in number of pads I was using – but this was completely inadequate in my situation. I could tell they weren’t taking my situation seriously enough.

Apparently, I have this ability to portray a very calm outward appearance – fooling those around me – and perhaps myself as well. I had this experience during the birth of my youngest – the nurse refused to believe I was in labor, and it wasn’t until she finally examined me (after an hour of us trying to convince her), that she finally did. The look on her face was priceless, and suddenly the calm in the room evaporated and there was an explosion of movement in order to get me to a room before my daughter was delivered.

It repeated during this experience as well – via my calm exterior and my inability to accurately portray the urgency of my situation. I guess to do so would have called for more hysterics or something more dramatic than what I was presenting. I knew that freaking out about what was going to happen to me would do diddly squat to remedy my situation – calm and clear communication was key. I eventually managed to find a way to get my message across, but by that time other events had already begun to unfold.

In this moment, I chose to do what I could to stay calm and accept that this was my present reality – what was the point of added suffering by resisting it or freaking out over it? So, I accepted it. Yes – I was afraid – the unknown often is, but I didn’t dwell on the fear. This was what the nurses and doctors saw - a calm, collected exterior.

I also had immense faith that if I was meant to survive, I would. And if I wasn’t meant to survive, then there was a reason for that as well – one that was bigger than me. This was another aspect of my acceptance, but there is a key point I want to make about acceptance – it doesn’t mean surrendering to fate.

Acceptance means you accept your current circumstances, and you stay present, but it is your responsibility to choose what to do with it. Since I knew I would survive, that meant I was making small decisions, taking small steps, and communicating in a way that ensured I would. It meant I would question what the nurses or doctors were doing if I felt the need to, or that I would provide a suggestion for treatment or another way of approaching something if I felt the need to do that.

What I didn’t do was give up my power over my own reality. I didn’t succumb to fear. I teamed up with the divine and listened for those little whispers for when something else was needed, or when something needed to be paid attention to.

Additionally, I held a deeper understanding that this experience was being presented to me as an opportunity for growth and healing, and that there was going to be a lesson or two for me to walk away with that would propel me forward on my journey in life. So, I prayed, and I listened.

Fast forward a few hours. I was getting my ultrasound when the blood loss took its toll. I was standing in a room by myself after getting off the ultrasound table when I felt myself begin to pass out. I calmly sat on the floor and called for help. The specialist walked in just in time to gently guide me to the floor as everything faded to black.

I came to and saw eight or so people standing around me, working together to get me up onto a bed so they could wheel me back to the ER. Throughout all of this, a beautiful thing happened. Everything slowed, and I began to feel this amazing love for all of those around me – the nurses and doctors who were doing everything they could to help. I remember looking at each one of them and feeling this deep love and appreciation.

In this moment of deeper connection, I began to see the lessons I was learning in this experience, as well as the lessons some of them were learning as well. It was this beautifully choreographed cosmic dance through a single experience – and I could see all of the good that was going to come out of it. I have to admit, I was a little in awe – and even if all of what I was feeling was due to my blood loss, it was a gift, and one I was going to hold onto.

The energy around my situation had now shifted, and all personnel in the ER were involved. It was decided that I needed to be sent to another hospital that could handle and treat my condition.

So, in the middle of an ice storm, I found myself being transported by ambulance to another hospital in the area. They had a surgeon on call that specialized in what I was experiencing, and he had instructed the doctor at the hospital I was currently at on things they could do now to slow the bleeding (which worked) and told them to get me there, yesterday.

At 3:30am, nine hours after my bleeding had begun, I met the surgeon. He explained that they were concerned about a mass that had been identified in my cervix and believed that this was the cause of my bleeding. So, they did a quick biopsy and ordered an MRI to provide a clearer picture of what he was working with.

Unable to even sit up due to the amount of blood I had lost, I was wheeled through the hospital in a bed, and transferred from one bed to another and back in order to undergo the MRI. I would say this was me at a very weak and vulnerable physical state – a place I had never found myself in before. I hadn’t eaten anything since noon the day prior and had only had two IVs to manage my blood levels – my mouth was so dry it didn’t feel like it was doing a thing to help with dehydration. However, it was comforting to know I was in good hands and that I had what felt like an Army of Angels around me.

After my MRI, they gave me a medicine of some kind through my IV and I was able to fall asleep for a couple of hours.

At 9:00am the surgeon returned to my room in the ER and explained to me what had been found. The mass was vascular in nature – thus all the bleeding - and he believed it to be cancer. He presented two options – chemo and radiation, or surgery (a radical hysterectomy). He explained that the way his team now approaches this surgery has been shown to be very successful in removing all cancer in this area. He did make it clear that surgery wouldn’t rule out the potential for radiation or chemo in the future if it hadn’t been contained to this area.

Based on our previous conversation, I knew he was leaving for his holiday vacation that day. I felt deeply that he was the person that had been divinely sent to do whatever needed to be done and that if I was going to have surgery, it absolutely needed to be done by him.

We discussed the pros and cons of each option. I asked how long I would have to wait for the OR if I chose surgery – concerned that it wouldn’t be able to happen while he was still in town. He admitted that he didn’t know but was going to go straight from talking to me to gathering that information.

I asked him how long I had to make this decision. His answer – five to ten minutes.

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Before I continue with the remainder of my experience, I am going to pause here and share a few things that I feel are important to this story.

The first thing I feel the need to share is that my inner voice had been telling me something was wrong in the reproductive area of my body for a little while. I will admit that this voice was easy to brush off – it wasn’t exactly something I wanted dwell on, and so I put off going all in on acting on it.

Looking back, I know that listening to this voice likely would have helped me catch the fact that I had cancer in a different way – meaning I wouldn’t have had to experience the life-threatening bleeding that I ended up going through.

I also know that had it happened in a way other than how it did, the outcome may not have been the same. Yes, I would have still needed to go through the surgery, but when would I have been able to have it? And would I have been able to have that same surgeon? Questions I can’t answer, and with the divine intervention I experienced throughout this entire experience, I do believe that it happened in the way it needed to for whatever reason(s) there were for it.

Still, I need to trust my intuition (and act on it) – it has been proven time and again that it is strong and is very rarely wrong. A lesson for me here is that I should be able to listen, and when needed, act on my intuition without fear. It is there to help me – even if I don’t like what it may be saying. The serenity prayer can be helpful in these times:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Another lesson to come from this is that I had not been capitalizing on safe early detection tools that are out there – such as the annual pap smear – and I should have been. For anyone who lives in these modern times, it becomes impossible to prevent all disease, and that is where early detection comes in – at least those early detection tools that are safe and effective. Pap smears bring no additional risk, like mammograms can, and I should have been getting this done.

Even so, the universe was working full time to ensure that I was made aware of my condition even if I was going to continue to be hardheaded and not listen to my own intuition or capitalize on safe early detection tools.

Over several months leading up to this experience I had been reaching out to healers – again, I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t know what. I wasn’t ignoring it, but I also wasn’t using all the tools at my disposal, I wasn’t going all in with an effort to deal with it.

One of the healers I saw was an energy healer who identified that there was excess energy leaking around my sacral and root chakra areas and during my treatment she worked to address it. This is consistent with how the surgeon described my cancer – it had found ways to suck energy from many places and in many ways in the area - thus the complicated surgery I ended up needing.

I had also recently reached out to Dr. Iverson, the Naturopath we feature on our resources page. He does what he calls “soft” frequency testing where he runs tests on people with only their photo against 1200 antigens and 300 nutrients and writes up a very detailed protocol of their current needs. I had requested to have this done for me. He emailed me my result on December 23, 2022, the day after I had started bleeding.

I won’t go into detail regarding his recommendations for me in this article, but a few days later I emailed him back, sharing with him my current situation and asking if any of his recommendations would need to change based on this. Nothing needed to be changed, but he was profoundly affected – his original reading on me was that I was showing I had a wound, bleeding, and cancer in my reproductive organs.

I specifically want to point out that this reading was based solely on a picture of me from the waist up – no questionnaires, or any other information on any symptoms I was experiencing. He’d essentially correctly diagnosed me with precisely what I had going on, with just my photo. What an incredible gift!

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Back to the story.

Some of you may be wondering how I chose to use those five to ten minutes.

I texted three people, not for their recommendations but for their support. I already knew my answer, but there is always some part of us that seeks validation. I guess I was doing that in this moment.

When the doctor came back in, I felt supported and surrounded by angels. I knew things were happening exactly as they were meant, and in that moment, I felt safe… and loved.

I should have been more nervous, anxious, fearful – I had just experienced traumatic bleeding, received a cancer diagnosis, and was not only heading into my very first surgery, but I was heading into a complicated surgery while in a condition of already having lost a lot of blood. I should have been afraid – but I wasn’t.

This is the power of faith.

For my first experience with surgery and waking up from anesthesia, I think I was fortunate – I had no nausea or any other uncomfortable sensations. My biggest complaint was how dry my mouth was. I hadn’t been able to have even an ice chip for the previous 36 hours.

For the first day or so I was restricted to a liquid only diet. I chose to stick to chicken broth with salt and pepper – a soothing source of a bit of protein, fat, and electrolytes. I also learned quickly that when you are needing something in-between meals your only options are pudding, Jello, popsicles, ice cream, etc.

My room was on the cancer floor in the hospital and so when I discovered I couldn’t even get a piece of fruit, or any other healthier option for a snack I was appalled. Sugar is the LAST thing anyone trying to recover from surgery or dealing with cancer should put in their body. The chemical laden, highly processed foods they offered cause disease – they don’t help you heal from them – something that should be paramount for the patients on that floor. Yet that was all that was available. Again, appalling.

Also, where was the nutrient supplementation that should have been a part of the surgery recovery protocol?? My research while getting my master’s degree showed me that the stress our body goes through in surgery essentially tanks many key nutrients – we burn right through them. Yet, they couldn’t even give me magnesium unless my once-a-day blood levels dipped below a certain level, and that was only because I was on an electrolyte protocol. Appalling. This word repeated for me throughout this experience.

My dietary challenge was that due to my blood loss, I was at the cusp of needing another blood transfusion and I knew I needed to help my body build my blood levels back up – or at least keep them stabilized. Being limited to chicken broth and hospital food was going to make that a slow process.

So, I asked visitors to bring me some healthier options when they could – whole-fat, plain yoghurt; a freshly made carrot, ginger, apple juice; a smoothie with berries and greens; dried prunes. I also had them bring in multi-vitamins, vitamin D, and selenium.

The yoghurt would be a good source of protein, easy to digest, and also offered much needed probiotics. It ended up being one of the best decisions I had made, and I relied on it for the next several days. The juice and smoothie provided the antioxidants I needed. The prunes would help with moving along my digestion and also provide a bit of iron.

For the vitamins, I muscle tested them to ensure that they would help and not hinder my recovery. The multivitamins and vitamin D both tested very strongly in the positive and I have been taking them diligently ever since. The Selenium did not, and the testing showed that they would not strengthen, but would instead weaken me. Most likely this was due to the brand and what else was in the vitamin versus the Selenium itself. So, I chose not to take it even though Selenium is one of those nutrients that tanks in surgery. (I will write an article on muscle testing in the near future).

Nutrition is only part of healing. Movement is also necessary – and our inner thoughts and beliefs are even more so.

I had recently downloaded on my phone an InnerTalk package (it was for my daughter) – another synchronicity as this particular package is one for pain and healing. InnerTalk is a patented subliminal messaging program, and I can say from personal experience that it works. Whenever I was alone or sleeping, I used these and kept them playing, even if only in the background. I believe they have been key to the way my recovery has been going.

I used these to address those subconscious thoughts and beliefs that are otherwise difficult to address and to boost my belief in our ability to heal ourselves. While listening to them, I feel my inner healer awakening – which for me is often accompanied by a gentle sleepiness – where I am being encouraged to stop what I am doing, close my eyes, and rest – so my body can do its thing. It’s a very peaceful feeling and one I’ve been able to recognize and experience for the past 15 years.

I also learned that movement is not something I wanted to do when recovering from a surgery like I had – some of that was a real fear of the bleeding returning if I pushed it too hard, plus, I was very weak from blood loss. My first attempt to ambulate was a very short single lap around the nurse’s station – and I felt it in my whole body. Wowza. I briefly considered how far I had to go to get back into mountain climbing shape, which was depressing, but then I quickly shoved that to the side. I reminded myself to stay present – and take one step at a time – telling myself that I just needed to make sure that each next step takes me further than the one prior to it.

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So, what are my next steps?

It has now been a little over a week since my surgery. I have been home since the 27th and am now almost weaned off of pain meds. I have been taking walks outside, can comfortably go up and down stairs, and feel I am recovering fairly well. I have a follow-on appointment next week where I may need to decide whether or not to go forward with chemo and radiation or take another route towards healing – but that is for next week – either way I am moving forward with healing.

I have already adopted a healing nutrition protocol (more strict than a typical healthy diet).

I have been utilizing my grounding mats since Dr. Iverson indicated they would be necessary for me to start removing EMF pollution that appears to have accumulated in my body.

I am taking the supplements Dr. Iverson also recommended, and I will continue to add in more healing protocols as I can tolerate them while recovering from surgery.

I am also working to identify and address whatever emotions or beliefs I have buried that are behind the cervical cancer. This is a critical component and essential to true healing.

Finally, I have scheduled a spiritual healing with Peter Marchand to remove any energetic residue that is still there – without this step, and the previous – there is no guarantee that detox or nutritional protocols will prevent cancer from returning.

In future Waypoints articles and Let’s Talk programs I will share more about my own journey and dive deeper into the protocols and tools I have chosen to adopt, and how well I feel they are working.

I truly feel blessed. I am grateful for everything that has transpired - it is only going to propel me further and faster along my own journey.

I wish you all a Happy New Year, and all of the best as we head into 2023.